“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”
In my life, I always thought if I worked hard, I would be successful, and being successful would make me happy. I'd have the money to buy the things I wanted and to live a comfortable life. So I worked hard - I chased the better company, bigger job, next promotion - over and over again, basically living for the future opportunity. I wasn't content in the moment, but instead, found my value based in how coworkers, my company, and those around me viewed me and my career. I prioritized it over everything, including my health and well-being. I stopped working out, going out with friends, dating, and at some points sleeping because I became so anxious. I I kept thinking - after this next promotion I'll be happy and relax! This past year I moved to San Francisco and got promoted.
And Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. I got what I wanted, and I wasn't happy.
In Western culture, happiness is defined by the joy we gain from external factors. It's seen as something outside of our selves, and drives our behavior for success and things we think what will make us happy -- the hotter date, bigger home, larger promotion. The end goal defines our happiness. When you're living for the next best thing, it's impossibly to enjoy the present. You rush through life thinking you're almost at this final destination, this place of happiness, when the entire point is really just enjoying the journey to get there and you missed it!
Also, and unfortunately, external things you can't control will never give back to you the way people, experiences, and most importantly the way you can give back to yourself.
Luckily, you can REDEFINE what success and happiness means for you.
I've redefined what success means to me - redefined what happy means to me.
Instead of letting success be defined by friends, family, or society, I challenge you to redefine what success really means to you in your life. In the past, my definition of success was promotion at Google. Now, my definition of success is to balance the things that bring me joy - build my health coaching business, continue the work I love at Google, be more intuitive with my body, make space for time in nature, practice self compassion, and self love, and cultivate great friendships, relationships, and time with family.
Also, choose to be happy right now. It's a choice, and it's already in you. You don't have to chase after it. I'll be sharing my go to steps for cultivating happiness next, so look out for the next blog post about it!
Check out Jay Shetty's video below for inspiration on how to redefine success.